Counselling Blog

In This Together While Staying Apart

Photo by Sean Calvey

We are unprecedented times. Asking my parents if they remember anything remotely like this and they don’t. To see, not only fear in their faces but dismay and confusion is unsettling for me as a mother, soon to be grandmother myself. What is going on in our world?

So here is my seeing of it. It feels to me like the World has had enough. It has chronic auto immune DIS-EASE and is now fighting back at us. We have not been listening to it for a long, long time and it has had to scream louder for us to stop and take notice. Its surreal to see how we have been so quickly stopped in our tracks.

In my work as a psychotherapist I know that disease of the lungs or congestion suggests grief. The lungs are near the heart, which is our emotional centre and this is where we are being attacked. Our world as we see it, I feel is grieving. It is looking at how we have abused it and its not ok with that. It has sent us warnings to let us know, but unfortunately we have ignored them. We, as human beings are also not unlike the world, sometimes our body reacts to us when we are not taking care of it emotionally or physically.

In my training, I was taught about the Dynamic Life Cycle. My understanding of it when I studied it was that nearly all of us was going around this cycle the wrong way. Allow me to explain my seeing of it. There are four stages in a life cycle: Source, Sustenance, Status and Achievement. How many of us have been going around the life cycle the wrong way? Let us take a look. How many of us get caught into having the latest gadget, the flashiest car, the newest lipstick or the most ‘likes’ on our social media posts, the 3 holidays? Have we the darkest tan, the nails, the hair etc, etc. Are we doing that so that Mary and Pat Jones up the road will think that I am doing great? Eh, yes!

So Achieving gives me status and makes me feel great because I can show off to Mary and Pat how great I am but, what about the bills and the demands of my time to pay for all of these so called necessities! What feeds that? We have to work longer hours or our partner does so that we can not only keep up with the Jones but we can be one ahead of them. Our children are being driven around on play dates and extra after school activities and they are exhausted.

So that is our achievement and our Status is thereby being Sustained. But for how long? Something has to give. We cannot keep taking from the source as we are. So how about we turn it around and see how we might go about it the right way.

Best way to look at going around the Life Cycle the right way is to go back to the beginning. Who was our Source person? It was our care-giver, more than likely our Mother. How she Sustained us would determine how our status would be. Our Mother would have fed us both physically but also emotionally and how she did that had an affect on us. If she fed us good food and fed us with compliments and affirmed us this would have helped us hold our heads high and have a good level of confidence and Status within ourselves, which would naturally lead us to achieve and when we get tired or hungry we could head back to source again.

As adults, we become our caregiver or at least that is what nature has intended for us. We grow up and we become our own source or we find in religion, meditation etc. How we feed or Sustain ourselves both emotionally and physically will impact how we feel about ourselves which is our status. Our status will determine how we achieve. We cannot keep blaming our parents or the past generations, we have to stand up and take responsibility of our actions.

Look around, we have, I feel actually become fake. We are looking outside of ourselves for reassurance where we need to come HOME to ourselves, We need to BE-Friend ourselves. Its false this, false that and we are still not happy. I remember travelling to India a few years ago. I came home devastated for our young people, they had ‘everything’ and were so unhappy, the children in India had ‘nothing’ and were so gracious and happy.

As humans, my seeing is that we are constantly taking out of source which is The Earth, we are depleting it so that we can feed our greed and the earth is exhausted and has nothing left to give so its gotten very sick. The Earth is screaming at us to take notice.

We are a lot like the Corona Virus, we are so insignificant yet so significant. We have, as one tiny cell (me, my-cell and I) of this world, the ability to do great harm or great good. Choose wisely

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