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Counselling Blog

February 2021

 

By Miriam

Read More About Miriam

 

When we think of February its possible that Saint Bridget's Day heralding in the spring & Valentines Day, known rightly or wrongly as the day of love come to mind. For me, personally I begin to reflect on my connections & relationships. My family, partner, friendships, work connections,  my heart to my mind and my connection to the world in general. All of which are very important to me. These connections are my survival tools for life. 

 

Meaningful connections or relationships with others serves, supports & meets our emotional needs. Engaging with friends & family helps to lower our anxiety, helps us to feel less depressed and allows us to develop different and possibly more positive ways of thinking or ways through difficult experiences. These relationships can assist us to navigate our lives. Imagine a child growing up without any meaningful relationships; what would they have missed? Empathy is another important social skill developed though our connections with others & in turn helps us to understand the world around us. Forging healthy relationships may also improve our self esteem & can strengthen our immune system. The list is endless. 

 

One of the most important of relationships to have of course is with oneself. This for me was a simple concept however a bit more difficult to put into practice. What exactly is ‘self care’ or a ‘good relationship’ with myself? I mull over these questions from time to time and recreate the meaning behind each the more I reflect on them or depending on my current situation.

 

I did however discover ‘Hygge’,  & for me, it serves as my self care. Hygge will be familiar to some.  It is (and I’m quoting here) ‘Pronounced "hoo-ga," this Danish concept cannot be translated to one single word but encompasses a feeling of cosy contentment and well-being through enjoying the simple things in life’. Creating a space to be with yourself, meditating, enjoying a coffee, reading, writing a few words or chatting with friends. These days while I have to do that on the phone I have developed some acceptance around this. Essentially I am taking some space to recharge my energy. A new chapter, spring is on the way!

 

Consider this; it was such a short time ago, in fleeting moments, we may all have been temporarily mindful of being busy and thinking that ‘oh I must contact this friend and that family member’ or feeling that we did not have the time or the energy to attend an event such as a school reunion or spend a weekend away with old friends or family.

 

My Father who never takes people or his connections for granted captured these moments in his poem below, his philosophy has never wavered and says that in simpler times they were very busy too but understood the value of those that they know/knew and love. He laments a time that people relied on their relationships. 



Forgotten Friends

Thoughts by my Father, Joe Murphy

 

It’s easy to forget

and yet we should remember

The friends in life we met

who often stopped to render

a helping hand, a kindly word and yet

we now find so easy to forget

 

As our road of life start to unwind

Its hard to think the friends we left behind

No longer have a part to play

In this busy world of ours today

 

We should stand back and take the time

Before life’s clock it stops to chime

For those friends who helped us so much

Don’t wait too long to get in touch

 

Shame we do not find the time to spare

To trace those friends of yester year

The ones in life we met

Who often stopped to render

 That helping hand

That kindly work and yet

We have for far too long, chosen to forget

 

We are all familiar with the saying about our friends, ‘no matter what the distance or time that has passed, true friendships always last’. This for me is such a true saying however, maybe today enough time has passed and its time to reach out to those friends or to take some space today to remember those we have lost and allow ourselves to feel again the connection that once was. 

 

For those who have lost family & friends, my personal thoughts are; that while death may be final, the relationship never ends. 

 

Contact Irish Online Counselling & Psychotherapy Service (IOCPS)



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